Published September 25, 2006
The bed sheets of fear
have wrapped themselves
around me.
I fight with them,
trying my best to get
free,
but they are stronger
than my fragile,
destroyed,
body.
I'm being pulled in
further and further
down into them.
Now all I can see are those
bedsheets of fear.
They are suffocating me,
squeezing the life
out of me.
I continue to struggle
but only find myself
going further into the trap
until finally,
I am dieing of the fear
that holds me there.
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Canary word: Present
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141,255 Literary Works • 674,330 Reviews
It's not really supposed to sound good sexual but bad. I am afraid to be in the bedsheets that i'm in because in the poem i'm not having a great time if you catch what i mean. Thanks for the crit. I'll work on the ending.
Not sure if there is a sexual or insominatic undertone here.
Perhaps more of a repetition for in&out of the bedsheets could make it more sexual.
Also, last line of 'am dieing' appears redundant, since you are already struggle from suffocation. maybe "I die" would be more appropriate.
overall, BIG KUDOS, it reads very well.